Next week today comes the end of an era in my life; one that likely should have ended sooner. I’ve been going to College Life, the college group at Life Center, for five years now. Though, I haven’t been in college for the last four years and I passed the upper age-limit of 24 nearly two years ago. For the past six months, the atmosphere has changed or else I have just reached an age where I have changed. Either way, I feel I’ve lost the connection I once had to the group. My closest friends have all moved away or moved on, and the newcomers all have little in common with me. It makes me feel old.
I was part of the leadership team for a year and a half of it — not that I did much of any leading — but I think that’s why I stayed as long as I have. I’m very much a behind-the-scenes person, so I didn’t mind that I was never really recognized as part of the leadership team outside of the team itself. It goes back to enjoying life as a man of no note. I can honestly say the best things I got from that experience are the thought-provoking questions Bobby would give us. While I don’t have answers to many of them still, I continue to work on finding those answers.
Around half a year ago, Bobby met with all the leaders before he took his sabaticle. By that point I’d already been mulling around the idea since I wasn’t feeling overly useful in the leadership team or particularly like I belonged at College Life anymore. I didn’t tell him that much, but that I was planning on “fading out”. Fading out is what I have been doing mostly for the past several months since then. When Bobby wanted to meet with me this week about making plans to move on, I was neither surprised nor miffed. It was a confirmation that I was already on the right path, though I accelerated my timetable. I had originally planned for the end of August when the new college freshman would start arriving and to give me more time to find other groups for fellowship. Tonight I realized I have no real connection to the group now as it is, so there is no further point in holding until the end of August. Eventually I will find new connections somewhere.